Miracle on 34th Street

Of course, I'm talking about the original. I have a lot of thoughts on the remake, but they are far too scathing and long-winded to put in here. So let's talk about the Christmas movie. Let's face it, it may not be everyone's favourite, but it is without a doubt the best one out there. It has influenced every single Christmas movie to come after, with its message about commercialism, faith, the magic of childhood. Hell, even Bad Santa took from here (the drunk Santa at the beginning, lol).

My favourite scene is when Kris starts speaking Dutch to the little girl.

Community: Regional Holiday Music

This. Is. The. Best. Thing. Ever.

EVER.

Bad(der) Santa

An instant classic in my books. When I saw this in theatres I knew I hadn't seen the last of it. In fact, this movie has worked its way into my family's vocabulary; it isn't uncommon for someone to get a present from Bad Santa come Christmas. It's a hard sell for a Christmas movie: alcoholic man poses as Santa in hopes of robbing a mall, and takes advantage of a child by moving into his house and allowing him to believe that he's the real Santa. He's just the worse kind of asshole and the best kind of anti-hero and the fact that it has one of the most heart-warming endings is a true sign of talented filmmakers.

The Simpsons: Holidays of Future Passed

This years Simpsons' Christmas special was surprisingly good. I say this mostly because I haven't really watched this show in years and last time I did it wasn't that funny, but this particular episode reminded me of the good ol' days, when there was a lot of humour and heart mixed together. Also, I've always been fond of the future episodes. There's not a whole lot to say about this one, other than I ended up watching it twice and it got funnier the second time because there were a lot of jokes in this episode and you won't catch them the first time around, so there's a lot of re-watch value for future holidays.

Joyeux Noel

This is not a feel-good holiday movie, this will probably do little more than depress the hell out of you, but I can't recommend it enough. It's such a moving story, and it's true. I mean, not completely true, but there was a cease-fire called during Christmas in WWI and I can imagine that what went down was probably pretty close to this movie's version. What I really love about this movie is that it's about humanity, it's about the bonds we chose to build and destroy between each other and why we do it and to what end. It's just fantastic. Also, it's pronounced "jwhy-uh no-elle." I never realized people couldn't pronounce this until I heard the Nostalgia Critic attempt to say it.

Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer

This might be the one Christmas special that everyon is familiar with. It's based on the song, of course, which was based on a add-campaign (which you might not know). It's imagery has been co copied and parodied over the years that it's hard for me to know if I've ever actually seen this before. It doesn't really hold up all that well though. I mean, I can't really stand any of the songs, but I guess the charm of this is more the look of it, the silly puns, and the wacky characters - and of course it has a nice moral. It's a classic, but it's not my favourite.

Some of the parodies on the other hand though...

While You Were Sleeping

I'm not that big on romantic comedies, but I unabashedly love this movie. I saw it a few times as a kid and it always stuck with me. It's just a really sweet movie that never feels forced, with Sandra Bullock at the height of her adorable awkwardness - and best of all it does NOT follow the romantic comedy plot (hating each other at first, predictably falling in love, only to have some sort of fight/misunderstanding and make up in the end). The focus isn't just on the boy and girl falling in love, but also on the family. I'd call this one more of a holiday film than a Christmas one though, because it starts at Christmas, has a New Years party and ends in January, but who really cares? To me that just makes it the kind of movie one can enjoy all year round. I absolutely recommend this film, especially if you're a silly girl like me.

Aw, someone made a music video for this movie <3 (Actually there are, surprisingly, a few fan videos for this film. I just happened to like this song the best.)

Scrooged

This is a surprisingly good version of Dicken's A Christmas Carol - and anyone who celebrates Christmas knows there are more of these than any single person could watch in a lifetime. Oddly enough though, I didn't like it all that much the first time I saw it, even though I liked the effects and thought it was funny, it wasn't until watching it again today that I really appreciated it. Some things I quite like is how this film not only plays with setting, but the structure of the story, having the ghosts come at night, and giving the ghost such incredible characterizations (Christmas Present - or Krista as I like to call her - is my favourite). Also, this movie, just because when it was made, is an interesting time-capsule of yuppie life in the late 80s. American Psycho anyone? If you like A Christmas Carol, then check this out; BUT (and unlike Gremlins, this time I am really serious) this is not a kids movie.

 

It's sad not just because it's a good tear-jerker, but also because of how eerily well it still applies to today :(

White Christmas

Of course I've heard Irving Berlin's song White Christmas, I had never seen the 1954 movie until today. That's right, there are Christmas movies even I haven't seen. For the most part it's your standard slapstick musical film from the 50s, except for the first 10 minutes that take place during WWII and cemented this song in my mind as one of the most depressing Christmas song I had ever heard.

 

The rest of the movie's pretty camp, and I'm not entirely sure why they think Vermont's economy depends on snow in early December, but it has some fairly decent songs and some pretty impressive performances. This is a good movie to play at a Christmas party when you just want something playing in the background.

The Santa Clause

I don't think I'm wrong in saying this was "A Christmas Story" of our generation. It was the first really original Christmas movie I and many of my friends ever saw. It did a lot of interesting things, like it's techno-gadget North Pole. Though as cool as their depiction of the North Pole is, I can't help but be creeped out by the elf children. Even as a kid they rubbed me the wrong way. Also, I'm pretty sure their system is completely based on slavery. I was worried I wouldn't find it as funny or charming as I did when I was younger, but on the contrary. There was a whole new batch of jokes I never got as a child, like innuendos to drug use. It's just a really nice Christmas movie that anyone can enjoy. Also, I love how the main focus isn't on some weird villain wanting to take over Christmas, or whatever, but on the relationship between the father and son.

Gremlins

This movie is just fucking weird, and I don't mean its plot is weird - although, Jesus Christ, did anyone proofread this??? I mean, the more I watch it, the more fault I find with it, and yet I still love it and continue to watch it (probably because it has a high nostalgia factor to it). Yet I don't mean it's so bad that it's good... it's just really fucking weird. It reminds me a bit about Die Hard, in that it's an incredibly violent film that just sort of happens to take place on Christmas. Christmas has nothing to do with the plot (other than the fact that Gizmo is a Christmas present, but that's a pretty weak excuse), it just makes for pretty set-pieces.

And then there's this fucking gem:

I don't think I can recommend this film in good conscious. Unless you saw this in your childhood, it's not going to have the same effect on you as it did on me and my friends. That being said, please don't let your children watch this.

A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas

 A brand new Christmas film to watch! And it is already on my holiday playlist. This really is the perfect Christmas movie, taking every aspect of Christmas specials (musicals, claymation, magic) and combining it with that special kind of Harold & Kumar humour. Also, it might be the best 3D movie I've ever seen, because it actually takes advantage of the medium. They constantly had things coming out of the screen. Also, NPH was brilliant - as always! I worry some people might find the sub-plot with the toddler getting high to be a bit disturbing, but she was just so cute that it never got to me.

 

It's Christmastime Again, Charlie Brown

The Charlie Brown DVD had two episodes on it, so I might as well review the second one as well!

I'm not sure if I've ever seen this one before, parts of it seemed similar, but if I saw it as a kid, then it certainly wasn't memorable as before. The plot of this Christmas special is the same as the last one, focusing on how Christmas has become commercial and its true meaning lost. Only this time it's Sally's existential crisis, which all culminates in her botching her Christmas pageant performance. It's not the best Christmas special I've ever seen :s

I'll stick to the original... err...

A Charlie Brown Christmas

Although made for Children, even as an adult I find enjoyment is this. Not in the story or the characters really, but from the music. I mean, just listen to that opening, such a beautiful and haunting Christmas melody. The soft jazz soundtrack will be stuck in your mind come every December (though mostly because you will hear it being played in EVERY MALL EVER). Despite the fact that this movie really captures a part of my childhood (I can't even count how many Christmas plays I've been in), I still can't get over the fact that Charlie Brown is the blandest main character in the world. Also the religious aspect of Christmas actually plays a role in the plot, and I'm not so big on that - even if, again, it totally reminds me of my own childhood. Okay, maybe I'm just trying to distance myself from my childhood now...

Die Hard

Die Hard is one of my favourite movies, so of course it's only natural that it's one of my favourite Christmas movies as well and always a great movie to start the Christmas season off with. It's one of those movies where the time of year has nothing to do with the plot (I mean, offices can have a multitude of excuses to have parties that Germans can break into), but the fact that they chose to set it during Christmas is genius. Remember how clever everyone thought when Tim Burton juxtaposed Christmas with something sinister in The Nightmare Before Christmas? Well Die Hard did it first! Then of course it's also just a great example of a near-perfect action movie (the amount you like this movie is directly proportional to how much you enjoy Alan Rickman's overacting).

   

Oh Alan, we <3 you. Anyway, this is a great Christmas movie and if you haven't seen it yet, 'tis the season (mother fucker!).